Deadpony
by SaurusRock625
Summary: What if Twilight Sparkle was diagnosed with cancer? What if she became something akin to Deadpool? Read and find out! Rated T for mild blood and gore, mild bad language, and lots of breaking of the fourth wall! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
1. Chapter 1

_**Get ready for a fic I'm not sure any of you have seen before! I saw the death battle featuring Deadpool and Deathstroke, and I figured why not give one of the Mane Six Deadpool's powers? So, here we are now. I hope you all like it.**_

"My liver!" = Talking

_'My third lung!' = Thinking_

_"My spleen!" = Singing_

**"My leg! Oh! It's cramping!" = Yelling**

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><p><span><em><strong>Prologue: Terrible News!<strong>_

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><p>It was the rehearsal of a big event in the kingdom of Canterlot. And not just any event like the Grand Galloping Gala. This was a royal wedding. The marriage between Princess Mi Amore CadenzaCadence, and Shining Armor the captain of the royal guard. Yessir this is sure to be a momentous occasion, right? ...Well, for those of you who said yes, I'm afraid you're wrong.

You see, when the bride and groom were about to give their vows during the rehearsal, Shining Armor's younger sister Twilight Sparkle burst into the room shouting things about how Cadence was evil, and was controlling her brother through the use of mind control spells. When she said this, Cadence ran out of the room crying, and Shining Armor snapped at her saying how the constant use of his shield spell was giving him migraines so Cadence was using a spell that was meant to heal him. He was so mad in fact, that he practically kicked Twilight out of the wedding! But before anypony else could say anything against her, she dropped a bomb on them... Not literally mind you.

"Well fine! If you all don't want me in the wedding anymore, I won't show up at all!" Twilight said with angry tears in her eyes. "I'll just go curl up in my room and let my cancer kill me! **Then none of you will have to put up with me anymore!**"

Hearing this made everypony's expressions change from anger and disappointment, to shock and sadness. They finally got a good look at Twilight. She did look sicker than she should be, and they could tell that she was somewhat straining to breathe. Twilight realized what she'd said, and lowered her head in sadness and shame.

"...Wha...what?!" Shining asked in disbelief.

"It's the truth, Shiny..." Twilight said with tears leaking from her eyes. "I've been diagnosed with cancer."

Everypony in the room had different, yet similar reactions to what Twilight had just said. Rainbow Dash had stopped flying, and was just sitting there wide eyed and open mouthed, Applejack looked like she didn't wanna believe it, Fluttershy was starting to cry, Pinkie's ever poofy mane and tail had deflated and her colors had grayed slightly. Rarity was trying and failing to hold back her tears, Twilight's mother was openly sobbing while her husband tried to comfort her, Shining Armor looked like he wanted to cry but couldn't, Spike was letting his tears fall without restraint, even Princess Celestia could not stop her tears from falling.

"Why...? Why didn't you tell us? We're your friends, aren't we?!" Rainbow Dash asked feeling betrayed by this withheld information.

"I had found out only yesterday. I wasn't feeling so good during the preparations for the wedding, so I went to the Canterlot Hospital. When they told me about this, I was devastated. I didn't want any of you to go through the same..." Twilight explained.

She began to walk past the others with her head down.

"Twi? Where're ya goin'." Applejack asked.

**"Just leave me alone! I don't want any of you to burden yourselves with a mare who's doomed to die!"** Twilight cried as she ran out of the wedding hall to her old room in the palace, crying the whole way. That's when everypony saw Cadence staring in shock and sadness at Twilight's retreating form.

"Dear Faust above..." Cadence said as she herself began to cry. "...What have we done?!"

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><p><span><em><strong>Well folks, that's all I got for the prologue, but I'll try to make the next chapter longer than this one. For now, I'd like it if you all can tell me if you think I should involve Celestia and Luna's mother and father in this story. If so, they might play a very important part.<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Okay, I'd like to thank you guys for the reviews, and I'm gonna go ahead and include the parents of Celestia and Luna in this chapter. I understand that the previous chapter may have lacked significant emotional support, but I don't exactly remember everything that was said there. But I won't dwell on that. Enjoy the fic! Also you people will no doubt be seeing elements of the episode 'Keep calm, and flutter on' in this chapter. So this chapter is the chapter that Twilight gets the powers of none other than Dea-**_

_**Deadpool: Deadpool~ YEAH!**_

_**Discord: What the heck?!**_

_**Deadpool: Oh, I'm sorry. Please continue to help Twilight! I hope she doesn't turn out as ugly as I did! (Removes his mask)**_

_**Rarity: AH! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Oh wait, we can't... Fooey!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, or Deadpool!**_

"My kidney!"

_'Okay, this is gonna hurt!'_

_"My shoulder!"_

**"It's a Deathstroke kabob!"**

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><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 1: Rise of Deadpony! Part 1<strong>_

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><p>It has been a day since Twilight had informed those closest to her that she had somehow contracted cancer, and things were not going well. The wedding was put on hold until they could find a way to help Twilight. Celestia was actually staying up for days and nights on end looking through spell books in a never ending attempt to find a cure for Twilight. But so far, she was having absolutely no luck.<p>

"I've found spells that cure simple colds, fix broken bones, even a spell that regrows lost limbs! **Why can't I find a stupid cancer cure spell?!**" Celestia asked herself as she continued flipping through the pages of an old tome. She was really beginning to look worse for wear.

Her coat was matted and filthy, her mane was no longer glistening, and she looked like she hasn't had a decent meal in days. There were bags under her eyes. Heck, even Celestia's bags have bags! But her eyes were also red and puffy like she'd been crying recently.

"Really now, Celestia. I thought I'd raised you to be more well kept than this." A feminine voice reprimanded in a joking manner.

Celestia looked up from her book to see who it was, and gasped in shock at who it was.

It was an alicorn mare that was about a head taller than Celestia. She had a dark purple coat and was wearing light purple regalia. Her mane and tail seemed to flow with an ethereal energy, and she had quite an impressive wing span. Her horn was about the same length as Celestia's own. Her cutie mark was an inkwell and a quill. This was none other than Queen Faust, the previous ruler of Equestria and the alicorn sister's mother!

"Mother?! But you-what-I thought-how are you- when did you- **WHAT**?!" Celesta tried to ask but merely spouted a bunch of nonsensible gibberish.

Queen Faust giggled at her child's behavior and walked up to her.

"I understand that you are confused, my daughter. But I can see that something is troubling you. Tell me, what's wrong?" Faust asked.

Celestia looked down as her sadness returned. She began to explain what had happened over the course of these past few days. But when she got to where her student told her about her cancer problem, Celestia began to cry again. Faust merely held her daughter and let her cry.

"There, there, Tia. I understand how you feel. And I think your father and I may be able to help Twilight." Faust said as she held her eldest daughter in a comforting embrace. When they separated, Celestia looked at her mother with hope filling her eyes.

"How will we do this, mother?" Celestia asked as she dried her tears.

"Before we do anything, your father and I must meet with the current bearers of the Elements of Harmony." Faust's face then soured. "And as much as I hate to say it, we'll need the help of Discord."

_**A Few Hours Later, In The Throne Room...**_

"What do y'all think Princess Celestia called us here fer?" Applejack asked. She was about to try and confront Twilight, but was ordered to gather in the throne room with her friends for a meeting.

"I don't know, but whatever it is must be pretty important." Pinkie said.

"Important and SLOW!" Rainbow Dash said being her ever impatient self.

"Maybe she's bringing someone so terribly important, she still had so many more terribly important things to do before she got here." Rarity inquired. Spike however let out a gasp.

"***GASP*** Maybe the guest has a deer antler, a goat leg, a bat wing, and a snake tail!" Spike said while panicking.

"Oh, as if! That's Discord." Rainbow said.

"Why in the wide wide world of Equestria would princess Celestia bring somepony like THAT here?" Rarity asked.

"M-m-maybe you should ask...HER!" Spike said pointing at the door.

No sooner had he said that did the door to the throne room open. In walked Celestia and Luna, along with two other alicorns that they did not recognize. The first was Queen Faust, but the other was a complete mystery.

He was an alicorn that looked kinda like Nightmare Moon if she were a stallion. But there were significant differences. This guy easily towered Nightmare Moon by a good three feet, his coat was jet black, but his mane and tail flowed in a way that resembled molten volcanic rock. His eyes had slit pupils, but were red instead of green, and he had dragon wings instead of normal feathered wings. His cutie mark is an erupting volcano. This is King Magnus, the father of Celestia and Luna. And being towed behind him was... DISCORD'S STATUE?! WTF IS THIS?!

Shining Armor walked up to them to voice his opinion.

"With all due respect, Princesses..." Shining Armor began. **"HOW COULD YOU BRING DISCORD HERE?! ***ahem* Your majesties...?"

"I'm well aware that the last time Discord was free, he created serious havoc." Celestia said calmly.

"If by 'serious havoc' you mean turning Ponyville into the chaos capitol of the world." Cadence said bitterly.

"And turning us into the opposite of our true selves." Rarity added.

"And making yummy delicious chocolate milk rain down without a single dollop of whipped cream anywhere in sight to go with it! **Not a single DOLLOP!"** Pinkie added more concerned about her sweet tooth than anything else.

"We understand your plight, everypony. But we need Discord's magic to help us in ridding Twilight of her cancerous illness." Magnus explained. "No matter how much we may despise the idea..." Magnus said as an afterthought.

"This is never gonna work! How are we gonna control him?! **We're DOOMED!"** Spike said whilst he panicked over the situation.

"Need I remind you that you are the ponies who put him back in his stone prison in the first place? And I am fairly certain that you can do so again." Faust inquired. Now we see where Celestia gets her slightly trollish nature from.

"We should probably have someone volunteer to run away from this room and get the Elements of Harmony. I'll do it!" Spike said. He turned around to run away, but was stopped by Luna.

"There is no need for that, Spike." Luna said. "We have them right here."

A treasure chest opened to reveal the Elements of Harmony in all their glory. How very convenient...

"And father has cast a spell over them so Discord can't take them, and hide them again." Luna explained.

"Now where is Twilight? We need her here so that we can activate the Elements of Harmony." Magnus asked.

"Yeah, about that..." Rainbow Dash nervously began to explain how Twilight wouldn't let anypony into her room for the past few days. She wasn't even speaking to her family or her old foal sitter. King Magnus frowned hearing this.

"Then we must bring her here at once!" Magnus exclaimed as he ran out the door.

... "I have no idea where I'm going." Magnus called from the hall.

Celestia and Luna face hoofed at this. Their dad may be strong as well as very kind, but let him hide your birthday cake and you'll never see it again. That's how bad his sense of direction is. So Faust decided to just teleport Twilight there. She had seen what she looks like from photos, so she would have no trouble doing so. Her horn lit up with a mint green aura, and in a flash, Twilight Sparkle was lying on the floor next to a record player playing Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley.

Twilight looked around to see everypony, but wasn't at all emotional about this. Not even around the princesses and their parents!

"Leave me alone to die..." Twilight said using her magic to turn up the volume on her record player.

This behavior perplexed everypony. Normally, Twilight acted with far more respect around everypony. Especially royalty! But it seems as though Twilight has just about given up all hope on life. Rainbow Dash took the needle off the record, and tried to talk to the practically lifeless unicorn.

"Come on, Twilight. You can't just give up on life like this!" Rainbow said. Unfortunately, it didn't have the desired effect.

"What's the point, Rainbow?" Twilight asked. "I have no hope of being cured, you guys don't wanna be my friends anymore, my own brother and old foal sitter don't even want me at their wedding anymore, and princess Celestia doesn't want me as her student anymore! I'm better off DEAD!"

Twilight was cut off from her ranting when two pure white hooves pulled her into an embrace. She looked up to see the crying face of princess Celestia.

**"Don't you DARE think any of those things, Twilight Sparkle!"** Celestia cried through her tears. "You have always been more than just a student to me, Twilight. To me, you are the daughter I never had! If you die, I don't know what I would do!"

As Celestia resumed sobbing her eyes out, nopony seemed to notice that Twilight had subconsciously began to activate the Elements of Harmony. That is until they heard the sound of cracking stone.

Everypony looked to see Discord's stone prison beginning to break. More and more cracks began appearing on the statue, as the Elements of Harmony used their magic to free the Draconequus within the confines of stone. Until finally, the stone shattered completely.

**"RAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH,** oooh. Oooh. Ooh. Well! It's about time someone let me out of that prison block. What a relief!" Discord said after wriggling the kinks out of his limbs.

Discord began pretending to stretch out his limbs, and snapped his fingers... Only for nothing to happen. This surprised Discord. He tried snapping his fingers in an attempt to utilize his chaos magic a few more times, but he ended up with the same results.

"Hm. That's odd. Normally my chaos magic is only able to be stopped by queen Faust. But there's no way..." Discord was cut off by an EERILY familiar voice.

"Hello, Discord. It has been a while since I've seen my oldest and dearest pranking buddy." Faust said with a greeting.

Discord looked around to see everypony, but his eyes were focused on Twilight. He could actually sense the numerous cancer cells killing her from the inside.

"My goodness, Twilight! How ever did you contract a disease as deadly as cancer?!" Discord asked in a mocking tone of voice.

Now on the outside, Discord may not have seemed concerned, but on the inside he was hysterical. Cancer was a deadly disease that even his chaos magic can't cure on its own. At the most it can only greatly slow down the rate that the cancer cells spread throughout the body. If he had other incredibly powerful sources of magic working in unison with his own, perhaps he'd be able to cure it. But come on! What are the odds of something like THAT happening.

"Yes well, this is why we have set you free from your stony prison, Discord." Faust explained. "We know that your chaos magic alone is not enough to cure cancer, even if we combined it with our own magic and the power of the Elements of Harmony..."

Everypony looked down at this. Celestia just held Twilight tighter as she tried not to cry, and Twilight began to slowly sink back into depression.

"...However, if we were to use the powers and abilities of one who has an incredibly powerful healing factor, we may be able to use it as a catalyst to cure Twilight of her cancer without any repercussions!" Faust finished. It did sound like a solid plan, but there was just one TEENY TINY problem that queen Faust didn't take into account.

"Where are we going to find somepony with such a healing factor? Um, if you don't mind me asking..." Fluttershy asked nervously.

King Magnus took out a medallion with an odd insignia on both sides. He used his magic to place it around Twilight's neck.

"That medallion belonged to a great hero with regenerative powers far greater than even an alicorns. With it he could regenerate entire organs within mere seconds! All of his power and battle prowess, as well as his powers of regeneration are currently locked within that medallion." Magnus explained.

Before Twilight could protest about anything, queen Faust cast a sleeping spell on the young mare. Twilight was out like a White Dwarf at the end of its lifespan.

"Rest, Twilight. Sleep, and know that as you do you will awaken as Equestria's newest hero," Faust said to the now sleeping unicorn. "A hero known only by the name of… Deadpony!"

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><p><span><em><strong>Deadpool: Alright! I got me a successor! ...Wanna see me naked? (Holds up a picture of himself without his suit on)<strong>_

_**Rainbow Dash: What?! NO!**_

_**Discord: AAAAAAUUUUUGH!**_

_**Sombra: MY EYES! Can't...claw them out...fast enough…**_

_**Deadpool: And~ now you're scarred for life. Don't forget to likefaveandsubscribe! Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!**_

_**Ignoring that, I really hope that everyone reading this likes this chapter, and I need your help with something. I'd like you all to send me your designs for Twilight's Deadpony costume. Just don't make it anything too ridiculous.**_


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